The development of communication and relationships between people depends on the importance given without expecting anything in return. Although this can be done in a variety of ways, it may be more effective to do it at memorable moments. For example, gifts given and received after a success, another age and anniversary, or a birth.
There is also a date-based rather than a person-based part of the matter. New Year’s Eve, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or Valentine’s Day are examples.
If we want to show our love and we want to do it on certain days, let’s think of a more logical way to do it. I have a suggestion, a gift that looks very easy to make, but is not as easy as it seems. When it is given, the positive feeling it will leave in your loved one will be much deeper, I am sure of that.
I prefer to buy presents for my parents on their birthdays or other special occasions, but I always find it extremely difficult. Sometimes it can be even harder for the people you are closest to. Nevertheless, I find a way and I do it in line with the suggestion I want to talk about: Writing.
As you read this, you may have thought two things: “I can’t write at all!” and accept the disappointment, or “Is that what it was?” and despise it. But the person who receives such a gift will appreciate it the most. Because it is as much fun to receive and read it as it is to write and give it away.
But should writing be monotonous? In other words, is it just about saying “I wrote this for you” and giving it to someone? Frankly, if you prefer it that way, why not, because the real beauty is in the fact that you have done it. After all, you are doing it for someone you care about without expecting anything in return, and I am sure you will make them smile. But if you want to be a bit different, I have tried a few things and maybe this will give you an idea.
Photo by Liam Truong on Unsplash
I have a friend who I like very much, and because there is only one day between our birthdays, I always think of her birthday before my own. When we were even closer, I used to try to make a gift box for every birthday. I would try to find something from the stories she had experienced that year, the details in some of our messages, and anything she liked. So I would make it and give it to her when we met (we are in different cities). This went on for two or three years.
Of course, everything varied in the gift I prepared. But there was only one gift that was constant, and that was the letters and notes I wrote. In fact, there was one thing that suddenly occurred to me, and this may be the part that gives an idea.
When she mentioned that she had lost the desire to read for a while after reading when she was little, I kept encouraging her to read. She regained it and I occasionally gave her books that I liked or that I thought she might like. One day she told me that the novel she most wanted to read was “My Sweet Orange Tree”. I think the last time I read it was during a summer holiday in 2013–4.
With that as an excuse, I went to a bookshop, bought the book and read it straight away. As you know, we are part of a story in which we watch the character grow up, it deals with memories that flourish in a difficult childhood, it is a wonderful book. She also had some difficulties that she talked about throughout the year. So I wrote down all the points from the book about growing up, developing and overcoming difficulties, one by one. I wrote down what was said on which page and attached it to my letter.
I wanted it to feel like we had read the book together and, according to her message, she really liked it. So I got what I wanted, I was able to give a dear friend a gift that would make her happy. You know, the relief of that is wonderful.
I continue with another idea, this one was for another friend of mine who has also been close to me for a while. As we have been friends for a long time, we know each other’s temperaments, what we like to do and what we have in common. She also loves to give and receive gifts and goes to great lengths to do so, and I can’t hold a candle to her.
She has such an interesting habit; she is very friendly and can make friends with strangers straight away, but when it comes to opening up her feelings or talking sincerely, she finds it extremely difficult to do so face to face. In fact, she gets so nervous that you can tell she is stressed at the moment. In fact, she is not antisocial at all, but she has always had a problem with such emotional issues. That’s why I never forced her to do it. People should be able to do it the way they want and use the method they want. There should be no pressure.
I never thought so, even though she told me she wasn’t good at writing. At least when she was alone she could put on paper what she couldn’t when she was talking. I made a suggestion: “Maybe you should do it as if you were writing a poem.” Because poetry should come from the heart and not have to fit a certain formula. I thought it would be a bit more comfortable. And that’s basically what happened.
So I wanted to prepare a birthday present for her. From the day I made the decision, I wrote articles and poems every day for months on our shared topics (without following a pattern). It was a very strange experience for me because I hadn’t written poetry for a long time and I hadn’t written for anyone else. In fact, I had always found poetry ridiculous for that reason. But when poetry is written for someone else, it gains value and contains desire. At least that’s how it was for me.
When the time came, I gave her all these poems and writings, along with the songs and the images I had chosen for each. She read some of them while I was with her and was very moved, so as you can imagine she wanted to read the rest later. She promised to read one every day and sent me a photo each time. This is what she said: “This was the best gift I have ever received”. As I said, this feeling of peace is quite different.
Photo by Ksenia Makagonova on Unsplash
What is written is always a mystery. To the writer and to the reader. Sometimes even the writer does not know what he wants to say. Even if he knows the subject, it is inevitable that he will not reach other points. The mind always adds new points.
When we do this not with force but with joy, it seems to me that we gain a special power. We are suddenly in another dimension. What we write now makes us feel more special and we become more attentive. Each of our words becomes more important.
That’s why I say, whatever you write, write it for someone else this time. Maybe someone you care about this Valentine’s Day, maybe a friend, maybe your cat, your dog…
Do this regardless of age, gender, or even whether they like poetry or handwriting. Whoever they are, they will love a gift like this, or they will look at it out of the corner of their eye after you have left and succumb to their curiosity. After all, they won’t know what’s inside until they open it.
What is certain is that they will be grateful for your work and your love. So tomorrow, write for someone else.
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