Being a perfectionist can make life quite challenging, no doubt about it. It’s like a mental barrier that appears out of nowhere whenever you try something new, or even when you show your skills in familiar territory. The struggle remains constant, regardless of the task at hand.
This mindset has a knack of slowing you down, catching you off guard and stifling the inspiration that once flowed freely. It creates a sense of inadequacy, as if you still need to achieve more, which makes you hesitate and never really get started.
I find this feeling particularly troublesome in two cases. The first is when I lack the discipline or motivation to continue with a project. The second is when I feel challenged by others, although it’s often a self-imposed competition, and I unconsciously compare myself to them. Such comparisons are detrimental to both our creative pursuits and our personal lives.
Sadly, I am no stranger to this predicament. Everything seems to take much longer than it should, and the initial discipline and motivation often fades as the journey progresses. Over the years I have come to accept that progress is inherently tedious and protracted. Underlying this acceptance, however, was a sense of incompetence. I was looking for concrete evidence, something solid and real to validate my efforts and prove that the struggles were worthwhile. Without such validation, my motivation took a serious hit.
In this state of mind, as I mentioned earlier, the dangerous habit of comparison rears its ugly head. Unable to see the tangible results I had envisioned, I find myself looking at others who have achieved what I sought. And in that moment I feel like there’s no reason for me to go on. Because I couldn’t achieve it while “they” did. The suffocating thought of not being good enough engulfs me, leaving a trail of pain in its wake.
Photo by Grant Ritchie on Unsplash
But through it all I realise that it is essential to embrace failure. I’m imperfect and that’s OK. I may not be the best, I may not even be good enough. But does that really matter? I can always try again and keep going as long as I never give up.
I’ve been through a lot on my writing journey. I started a novel only to abandon it several times. But then I started a novella and, to my surprise, it’s progressing much faster than I thought it would. The reason for this newfound progress is simple: I’ve learned from my previous work and all the times I’ve stumbled. Each failure has given me valuable knowledge and experience that is now guiding me in my current endeavour.
Still, there are moments when I lose motivation, when I’m plagued by thoughts of “What if it’s not good enough?” But I have to remind myself that it doesn’t matter. What’s important is that I’m writing, putting my thoughts and ideas into words, even if it’s not perfect. The fear of inadequacy may try to hold me back, but I refuse to be a prisoner of perfectionism. Instead, I’ll focus on my achievements and keep moving forward.
Writing is my passion, an indispensable act of mine, and I won’t let anything stop me from pursuing it. I believe that difficult times bring out resilient people and useful qualities. So no matter what the struggles, I’ll keep writing, knowing that my efforts will be justified by the results I achieve.
These words will serve as a reminder, a testament to my determination and love of writing, when I finish my novels.
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