During my adolescence, I preferred rock and metal music, as well as its subgenres. Because I believe it was the best fit for the exciting, moving, and fidgety character of the time. I chose it because I thought it had a unique sound, vibrated in loud tones, and allowed me to express myself while also touching my other emotions. Since then, it has always been a part of my life.
Of all, these are the most exciting periods of one’s life, with countless friendships, engagements, and experiences. Whether my introverted and pessimistic personality desired it or not, I appeared to lead a very active life. At least, I felt it was lively enough. Still, I knew in my heart that I was a simple, comfortable, and easygoing person; it just didn’t appear that way on the surface.
Over time, in the last five to ten years, my previous taste has progressively fused with another genre, while it has not faded entirely. Actually, I am not an innovative person; rather, I am a boring person who prefers to travel the same paths, eat the same foods, and listen to the same music. However, when I add new pieces to the ones I choose to keep with, it appears that I begin to give them the same constant care that I give to the others.
In this way, when I adopt a new style, it gradually rises to the surface and takes over the majority. My preferred musical style is “post-rock”, which is an instrumental genre. As previously said, it is a genre that contains pieces of music without lyrics. In terms of style, it is similar to the rock genre, which is a gentler form of metal. It is not as traditional and artistic as classical music, but as I previously stated, it is a genre that serves as a link between the old and new me.
Because I prefer to listen to other types of music these days, I chose to pose a question that I sometimes think is superfluous to ask and answer. “Why do I usually listen to this genre? Why do I focus solely on the musical bands I know and have already listened to, finding it exhausting and hesitant to attempt new ones?”
Of course, as with any issue, I am sure there are psychological aspects at play, but I will refrain from stating them in precise terminology because I am unfamiliar with the context. According to the publications I’ve read, research on this topic isn’t really conclusive. Nonetheless, it appears unlikely to me that there is no relationship between music (and its genres) and mood.
There is a phrase that goes, “Tell me who your friend is, and I’ll tell you who you are”. I believe this also applies to songs/music. Our personality is shaped by our thoughts, emotions, family structure, language, experiences, feelings, nostalgia, and friends’ counsel. These are the aspects that define who we are, that I can only think of a few that impact our artistic style right now.
That is why I try to perceive them by reflecting on myself. That is why I mentioned my character and life at the start. I attempt to ask the correct questions or approach from the right place to figure out why I’m having trouble adjusting to a new genre. Because I also assess whether this is an issue or not.
“I wake up in the early hours and after breakfast, having some calm music playing in the background.” “I’m sipping my coffee and listening to some pleasant music.” “I am on the ferry, reminiscing about the old days and greeting the sun; where are my headphones?” “It’s been a long day; I should go home and listen quietly to help me go asleep.”
I discovered that I had gradually adopted a quieter lifestyle. I’m not sure what it was; it may have been laziness, idleness, loneliness, serene, or something else entirely. Nonetheless, I want pleasure and to feel comfortable, and I believe I adopted this style in my head as the music that fulfills this goal. It enables my soul to relax.
I was thinking about when I would listen to music different than this. Every day, I write while listening to music. It’s as if music is required alongside pen and paper. My music consists of ink and caffeine. I’m not sure whether I have difficulties focusing (I don’t believe so), but I’m beginning to wonder if it would be like this if there was no music.
I had a similar experience when reading a book. When I’m on the bus or sitting at a cafe, my headphones, which are about to malfunction, usually come to the rescue. Because the baby’s crying, the sound of a rumbling vehicle, or the lyrics of a song appear to be vying for my full attention. At such times, the music I prefer seems to seize my hand, lift me up, surround me with a wall of silence, and allow me to maneuver safely between the words. Sometimes I wonder how healthy my addiction is.
I can now say that I am generally calm. I suppose that in my heart, I perceive similarities with this style of music that is also mute. A state in which people listen, read, and write rather than speak. The problem is that these are insufficient; it is also necessary to speak and express one’s own feelings, to hear own voice and phrases. One should feel alive. I believe that because I can focus more on these types of instruments, I feel as if I am speaking when listening to them. They’ve become my language, voice, and silent words. Who knows, maybe there are words hidden in that music.
There are moments when I prefer to refer to as “Life is so beautiful!” It is just there for a second; it does not last long. A sense of amazement fills your heart, and you feel comfortable and free of all your concerns for a little period. It makes you feel genuine, quiet, and peaceful, as if the universe’s secret has been revealed in your head and you have everything you need. Its departure is sad; you wish it stayed a bit longer. The essential thing is that it arrived, and you know it can come again. That is exactly what this type of music brings me at times. It’s as if I’ve discovered a shortcut in my life but am unsure how to use it to my advantage. Or perhaps I keep listening as if I’m praying for it to return.
Or is my heart confined, and I’m yearning for an escape through music? Am I waiting for a light to reach out after mute words?
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