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On Introversion and Writing

I have had to meet with my friends a lot in the last few days and it has been a bit mentally draining. I am a person who has difficulty communicating even with people I see close to me, and this may require me to make an extra effort when I am face to face. I am sure there will be some people who will have a hard time understanding what I am saying, but that is really the case.


As far as I understand, I have a certain limit that I can tolerate in a social situation, and once I cross it, it doesn’t matter if the other person is my friend or not, I want to leave the environment I’m in immediately. It has nothing to do with them, it is a completely internal conflict.


There are also times when I find myself in the opposite situation in a very ridiculous way. I want to meet and chat as soon as possible, and I blame the passage of time. I even become so talkative that I start to bore the other person.


I don’t know what causes this. My only guess is that I behave this way when I (occasionally) meet people who have the same temperament, the way of thinking and the things in common (and perhaps the memories).


Photo by Jehyun Sung on Unsplash


Of course, everyone has days that are spent in joy or embraced in sadness. It is important that I emphasise this so as not to limit the subject. Because what I am talking about is not exactly our mood, which changes because of other factors. It is more internal and personal. For this reason, it can even reach a point where the concept of communication I have just mentioned can be thrown out the window.


I am certainly not alone in this situation. Moreover, it is quite possible to observe that many writers carry traces of this in their lives, both in their biographies and directly in their works. Writers who have adopted a resentful, gloomy, lonely or disconnected lifestyle must surely come to mind. But were they the ones who wanted it? Is it always a conscious choice, or do their instincts lead them there?


As Ernest Hemingway said in his Nobel Prize acceptance speech in 1954, “Writing is, at its best, a lonely life”. To write honestly, we may need to draw the curtains a little. After all, the sentences we put into our fiction are ours and reflect our feelings. We can’t get help with this, or the advice we do get may not be entirely effective. We are alone until we share it with someone else. Maybe that’s why they became or could become writers; they were looking for a place to share their feelings and most likely they were able to convey them through the fictions they created, who knows.


I think everyone should write, whatever their feelings. Diary, poem, article, story, autobiography… No matter what you write, just do it. It is a relaxing, heart-warming and healthy activity.

 

Now let’s talk about those who are uncomfortable with all this. In other words, those who are uncomfortable with their introverted nature. First of all, I think it is necessary to reiterate that introversion should not lead to pessimism.


I am well aware of the difficulty of what I have said, but I am also aware of its truth. Isn’t it healthier to try to accept who you are than to try to change who you are? Be inspired by this logic, write, draw, tell and teach about it. Being an introvert does not prevent you from being a creative and valuable person.


Give yourself time, and extend that time if necessary. Trust that the things you put time and effort into, the things you feel good about, the things you learn by doing and the things you do on a regular basis will, over time, make you more relaxed. So much so that you will allow the shell you involuntarily wrap yourself in to become transparent and you will gradually begin to see what is happening outside. You don’t have to go out there, but you can learn from what you see.


Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash


According to the New Year’s plans I made before entering into 2024, I decided to continue this endeavour I have been doing for some time and to take it further. I also wanted to take a step that would allow me to come out of my loneliness. Although it was still very new, I suddenly realised that I had embarked on one of my New Year’s resolutions without even realising it. I had joined a group of friends with similar discipline, curiosity and desire to learn, and I was very excited by the news. As I said, I think my shell is becoming more and more transparent.


Who knows what time will bring, but I have no doubt that it will help me and everyone who feels like me. Because, as I said, maybe we need to escape from ourselves from time to time. What will provide this is the feeling I get when I feel extroverted; sharing the same space with like-minded people and being able to see the reflection of my own thoughts in them. Although development is experienced personally, it does not have to be alone.


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